Make a New Version of Your Life Story – Lie If You Have To

Reformed Liar“You have to begin to tell the story of your life as you now want it to be, and discontinue the tales of how it has been, or of how it is.“

– Esther & Jerry Hicks

What I’ll do in this posting is touch on some small things you can do to change your story and end with some instruction about setting goals. I hope it helps!

My father is famous for making stories up about his life, about what he had for dinner last night, about his ethnicity, and just about everything else. As a child I would cringe as he’d start to spin one of his tales. So outrageous were his stories that you’d think the listener would catch on that they were being lied to. Sadly an adroit listener didn’t happen as often as you’d think.

I always thought that the “race or color of father” on my brothers birth certificate, as “Mongolian,” was just an  ignorant bureaucrat. But, nope, it turns out it’s how my dad answered the question. Mongolian? You can make up lies too. But in this case the “ignorant bureaucrat” is you.

What we think and say about ourselves … well they’re all stories. Some of them positive, some negative, and some neutral (rarely that last one). If I notice that, say, that I’m attracting more and more successful coaching clients, maybe that says something about the quality of my coaching (or just dumb luck) … but what about the lies (stories) we tell ourselves?

Here’s a lie you can stop making-up: “I’m not productive.” Or how about, “I’ll never get anywhere”? Sound familiar? In a nutshell that’s the whole point to hiring a coach (which is not what this posting is about): staying on track, staying focused, and beginning to, “… tell the story of your life as you now want it to be.” What we believe in we manifest.

What if the lie is simply: “I’m having a shitty day?”

If you’re focusing on “shitty,” then that’s what you’re day will feel like. But amidst the crap that happens each day, what good has happened? Are you at work having a crap day?  You’re employed.  Are you not liking the restaurant you’re eating at?  You can afford to eat out.  Did you miss an opportunity to be un-shitty to someone else because you we’re too caught up in your story?

So what would it be like to start telling a different story? What are you willing to do to take steps towards a new life? What if it’s a simple as one phone call? Reading ten pages in a book? Using a productivity tool? Or simple affirmations?

What’s one thing you want to change? (something I talk a lot about in my postings) Exercise more? Improve a relationship? What’s the habit you have to build?

So I’m afraid it all comes down to changing your story by … drumroll please … setting goals. We’ve all heard this before, but I’m here to tell you it … again. You don’t want to be stupid, you want to be “smart.” Setting goals and using the “SMART” formula seems trite and over-used; may I introduce you to my multimillionaire client who does nothing but set goals???

Smart goals help us be successful. Winning a gold medal at the Olympics is a goal, but the action-able steps to get there are what move us forward. A SMART goal towards a gold medal would be: I will work out, at the gym, with my trainer, from 10-11 every morning 6 days a week.

SMART goals are: S – Specific (I will do ‘x’)  M – Measurable (number of, due date, quantity)  A – Action-focused (lift weights, write in a journal) R– Results-oriented (write 3 pages, ask 3 people for help), and T – Time-bound ( … by ‘x’ date).

Here are 10 areas of life that you might set goals in: Career, Partner, Health, Money, Friends & Family, Fun & Recreation, Physical Environment, Self Improvement.

Now, click on the free worksheet link below and get to work! What simple goals will you set for yourself? Let me know! I want to hear from you what you’re up to!

~ Kenji

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