I was remembering the other night that my teacher said that my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is, “Trying to make you into the spiritual man you want to be.” That thought didn’t come in some profound peak moment on the top of Mt. Everest, but, alas, it came in the waning hours of the evening, when I was feeling lonely, walking home by myself from a quiet night out.
I realized how fast I was walking, and as I slowed down even further, in an attempt to relax my poor overtaxed body, I noticed that it brought me even more into the moment.
The moment: that odd thing we don’t value with our 4G-always-connected-internet-email-chat-facebook lives; our “phones” that do everything for us but our laundry. The moment: that thing that costs nothing but our attention and our patience. The moment: that dull thing that when I’m able to fully be present in it … is beyond any riches I can imagine. The moment: which sometimes requires sitting with pain and despair, or requires me to realize that I’m rushing … for what? To hurry to the end of my life?